i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
