At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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