The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
