Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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