okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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