My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
