Pappa wants mamma naked
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
should my penis look like a turkey
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
