talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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