Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
