hotel room ftw
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
