white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
