Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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