You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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