I like to think it a success when the cops are called
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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