She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
