THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
