is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
