4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
