Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
