woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
