I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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