we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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