put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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