if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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