I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
