we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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