Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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