Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
