just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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