Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
