were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
