i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why do cheetos always look like penises
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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