Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it hurts more in the daytime
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
