I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
