Heybabeimwearingurpanties
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
