His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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