I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize