Welp...herpes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Randomize
