We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize