we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
