I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
