Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
