id be glad to
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
