Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
