His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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