the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
