Me too!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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