Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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