We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
