My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
