too bad you live with your parents still
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
