I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
