why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
