yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I am one with the molecules
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
