You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
