in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
