youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
