As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
one two three fourrrrnication!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
