the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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