I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
