Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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