My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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