Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
