you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
