so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
