So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
