Barsexuality is the new black.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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