he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
