that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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