Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
