I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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