you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
