I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
