Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
