the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
