real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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